Tadhana? Free will!!
Paano kung wala ka namang pakialam noong una tapos darating ang pagkakataon na maiisip mong 'yon na nga 'yung naka-tadhana sa'yo? Kasi nga nandyan eh, kasi kahit papano pinaghirapan mong mapapa-sa'yo 'yun.
Dati naniwala akong kapag andyan na 'yung "tadhana" mo, 'yun na 'yun. Dahil andyan na, hindi mo na kailangang mag-effort para mapanatili 'yang andyan. Hindi pala. Mali pala. Ang dapat palang isipin, kung andyan na 'yung sa tingin mong "tadhana" mo, ipaglaban mo hanggang sa dulo. Alam mo kung bakit? Lahat ng bagay kahit inakala mong hindi mawawala, kahit iniisip mong hindi masisira... kapag binalewala mo, darating ang panahon na mawawala 'yon o di kaya'y masisira. At alam mo kung anong mas masakit dun kapag na-realize mo na? Hawak mo na e, pinabayaan mo lang. Sa dinami-rami ng nagsabi, hindi pa rin matutunan na... "Mapapahalagahan mo lang ang isang bagay kapag wala na ito sa'yo." Oo nga. Oo nga. 잘 못 했어요. 정말 잘 못 했어요...
When we were younger, fairy tales made us believe that happy endings exist. But you know what? There's no such thing as a happy "ending" 'cause the story doesn't end. Unless, of course, you decide that it'd be the end by ending your life as well which I am not suggesting, okay? In reality, there may be moments of great ecstasy on some closures but it's only a chapter you're closing not the whole story. Sa totoong buhay, endings are always beginnings. And for the next chapter to end happily too? You'd have to take care of those things dear to you. It's a continuous cycle: start, fight and end it well.
But what if... what if you messed up big time and lose the things/persons you initially thought were fated for you?
Hmmm... the only way is to accept the guilt. It's okay to mess up then embrace the uncertainty of the new life you may be facing. Just take responsibility and look for another "tadhana" which you'll be doing your best, your very best to protect. And when that time comes that your new "tadhana" present itself to you, don't ever think that you're unworthy. Pantay lang kayo no matter how great you think it/he/she is.
But of course, it's always always always always easier said than done.
"Bakit ka naghintay?" Tanong niya sa'kin.
1. Hindi ko matanggap na pinabayaan ko.
2. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko haharapin ang buhay na wala 'yon.
3. Akala ko maloloko ko sarili ko. Wala naman na talaga kong pinanghahawakan e, pinipilit ko lang na meron pa.
"Ano ka ba, marami pa dyang iba!" Sabi naman nung isa.
Alam mo 'yung ang taas taas mo. Paano ba naman kasi, 'yung ultimate pangarap, 'yung tadhana, 'yung the best, 'yung gusto ng marami, ikaw 'yung napili at nag-admire ang ibang tao dahil dun. Tas biglang, "Ah okay, wala na e." It's pride kaya hindi maamin na possible namang may iba papalit sa "the best"... bwisit na pride chicken. Pride kaya hindi magawang sabihin na, "Wala na. Huhuhuhu. Wala na. Ano pang gusto niyo?!"
"Lunukin mo na 'yung pride mo. Tanggapin mong wala na siya." Sabi ng puso ko.
"At maghanap ka ng bagong tadhana mo." Sabi ng isip ko.
"At maghanap ka ng bagong tadhana mo." Sabi ng isip ko.
For a long time, I held onto something nonexistent. Well, it wasn't really nonexistent at first, it just vanished because I took it for granted. What I thought was my "fate" is now a thing of the past. I'm freeing my hands tonight para may mahawakan na naman akong iba... ibang ipaglalaban ko kahit anong mangyari kasi 'yun 'yung tama, kasi 'yun 'yung dapat, kasi hindi ko na hahayaan na agawin ng takot ang happy ending na meron sa chapter na 'to.
In the end, mayroon mang tadhana. Nasa atin pa rin 'yung free will para baguhin kung anuman 'yung akala natin na tadhana natin. Hehehe. Ba't ang gulo kase.
In the end (2), technically hindi naman na tadhana 'yung past. Ano lang siya, considered an extra sa buhay mo. It/he/she was needed to make you a better person in preparation to the arrival of your real tadhana. Hihihi. :">
And I pray, once you find that something/someone that you may not get lost and may not take things/persons for granted again. Let's strive to end life's chapters with happiness and without regrets. Huhuhuhu. Sana kayanin!
힘내자!
힘내자!
0 comments