Saturday, August 16, 2014

I feel sorry for the (forever) unconsciously incompetent....

According to Abraham Maslow, there are four stages of learning a.k.a four stages of competence. The first stage is called "unconscious incompetence"; that stage where people are unaware of what they don't know or people don't know that they are bad at doing something. It's tough to be in this stage especially if one is not open to corrections, one is a know it all or one believes that he/she is too intelligent to be wrong. Unless a person acknowledges that he/she lacks knowledge/skill on something, he could never get pass the first stage. For some reasons, I feel that I am surrounded by people who have decided to live their entire life in this stage. The world has been pointing the mistake since day one yet these people insist that they're right. May gamot pa ba dyan? Wala na. Incurable. When you're so determined not to listen, nothing can force you to.

We are poor at judging ourselves and some people may even think that it is I who's still in the first stage but the thing here is I don't force people to do things my way and much more tell them that they're bound to fail just because we don't have similar beliefs. 'Yun pala, ang pinakamahirap sa lahat e 'yung pinipilit ka ng isang tao na maniwala sa kung anong paniniwala niya dahil akala niya tama siya. Subjective naman kasi ang paniniwala at may kanya-kanya tayong values system na pinanghahawakan kaya ano pa pinaglalaban niya, diba?! Lahat naman tayo may kanya-kanyang diskarte sa buhay and if ever I feel that someone's not doing the right thing, tama na 'yung isang sabi then kung magkamali man siya sa huli edi at least natuto siya. To offer alternatives and suggestions is the best thing you can do for someone. Sobrang unfair at improper kasi na masabihan na, "Kaya ka ganyan kasi...", o "Kakaganyan mo, balang araw..." Nakakainis. 

For the record, 'yung mga tao naman na hindi naranasan tumayo sa kinatatayuan mo, wala silang karapatan na husgahan ka lalo na't sabihan ka na hindi mo sila naiintindihan dahil sila, kahit kelan, hindi ka naman nila sinubukan intindihin. Dahil sila, kahit kelan, wala naman ng naging ibang magaling kundi sarili nila. Maari silang magbigay ng payo sa'yo pero hindi na nila trabahong makigulo at magmagaling na isulat ang kwentong dapat ikaw ang gumagawa. Ang hirap kasi sa iba, magaling lang magpuna ng mali ng iba nang hindi man lang isipin kung pano mapupunan ang mga pagkukulang na meron naman din sila. Sabi nga ni Bob Ong, "Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa." Sa masakit na salita: 1. tanga na nga sila, hindi pa nila sinubukan matuto. 2. ang kitid na nga ng utak nila, wala pa silang ginawa para mapalawak ng kahit kaunti 'yung paniniwala nila. Kung sabagay, mas madali magmayabang kesa umamin na wala rin naman silang ibubuga. And low lang ng self-esteem? Oh wells, ignorance and arrogance are bliss.


God, give me the patience and wisdom to deal with difficult people.

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