July Makulay! :)
Or maipilit lang? :))
So the, "Update this blog as often as I can" was that once a month post when I was still in the USA.
So the, "Update this blog as often as I can" was that once a month post when I was still in the USA.
Three months in USA was definitely not the "life" I had imagined hahahahaha it was waaaaaaaay more dramatic and more spontaneous than what I was thinking of before I left the Philippines. It's the kind of lifestyle I have never expected to adjust to that easily. It's the kind of lifestyle I never thought I can survive- but what's more amazing is I know I thrived. But maybe it's also because I've met the right people too that I was able to enjoy that much.
At first, I knew where I was going (Nevada-California Stateline) but aside from that, I didn't know anything that I was about to do and experience. I left it all to fate, seryoso. Since I didn't have my laptop with me and the internet connection wasn't really stable from where I lived, I now kind of regret not blogging when the feelings and events were "fresher," but then again everything that happened I am more than grateful to cherish them through pictures and in my heart and mind. <3
Hello naman sa Instagram account ko, achieve all the geotag goals!!! HAHAHA. I didn't upload because I wanted a feed filled with my US travels but because I wanted to geotag the photos. Like what I've said before, whenever I feel sad, looking at all those photos makes me happy.
Hello naman sa Instagram account ko, achieve all the geotag goals!!! HAHAHA. I didn't upload because I wanted a feed filled with my US travels but because I wanted to geotag the photos. Like what I've said before, whenever I feel sad, looking at all those photos makes me happy.
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| You will always be my home, Las Vegas!!!! Before I left, I can tell you that I am that kind of person who is used to being alone. But in Vegas? I became that kind of person who is comfortable being alone. There's a big difference. I felt perfectly fine with my own company, like it's the most natural thing in the world. The first few days being there, I was talking to someone and I told her na "Parang di ko kaya 'yun, 'yung mag-isa ka lang as in the whole day ka mag-isa nang walang kausap." She told me, "Why? There's nothing wrong with that. Hindi naman kailangan all the times e may kasama ka't kausap. Ganyan ako minsan and I don't care." Fast forward to the me who's typing this kung pwede ko lang siya ulit kausapin, "Oo nga. I don't care too." One of the posts I read before I left was the Staying Philosophy and I quote, "you don’t just find love, adventure or freedom. More than anything, you find you." I am glad that in just three months, I found all four and this is the reason why leaving was very hard to do that I got sick when I was packing my things and felt even worse when I arrived in the Philippines. But I am okay now, needed the weekend to rest, move on, and accept that I am here again. May in denial phase ba talaga ganon?! |
Let me tell you a secret...
When I took this picture, I was calling and sending messages to people I've become close with telling them goodbyes and that it was my pleasure meeting them. I suck at goodbyes, well, I suck at attachments, commitments or anything relationship related so it was definitely something, you know. I could have just left not saying a word to everyone but I didn't - I said goodbye, I said thanks, I said see you again soon, I said I'll miss you. Even to those persons I clearly said that there would be no strings attached. WHUT?! HAHAHAHAHA. Pero seryoso, big step 'yon for someone na hindi masyadong marunong mag-express kung gaano niya vina-value 'yung human relationships na meron siya. The Tin there wanted closure. She longed for closure. She sort of insisted for closure even to an unworthy person (LUH). That's new. That's a good progress in this stage called "Adulting." I liked that change.
I hope I can change to a better person - a person who knows how to feel ganyan. hehehe. :))))))
I hope I can change to a better person - a person who knows how to feel ganyan. hehehe. :))))))
Let me tell you a darker secret...
I drank bottles of bud light and cried for a while.
Call me crazy but I have always wanted to try drinking alone because I feel sad and it happened IN VEGAS pa ha. HAHAHAHA.
I was in the 37th floor of Planet Hollywood Hotel, alone, looking at the night lights, remembering all the craziness that happened, welcoming sadness as if he was that friend I've been wanting to say goodbye to as well, hoping that I'll feel better the next day because I was scheduled to leave for California. But more importantly, I was also praying and giving thanks for everything.
Grabe! My words will never be enough to describe how "magical" those three months were. Not in a sense na, it was perfect and it was all happy moments pero kasi alam mo 'yun, never ko talaga inasahan eh. Akala ko pupunta lang ako 'yun lang 'yun, akala ko 'yung alis ko e sa San Diego lang 9 days bago ko umuwi. Pero four states?! Pero lahat nang 'yon?! OMG.
Grabe! My words will never be enough to describe how "magical" those three months were. Not in a sense na, it was perfect and it was all happy moments pero kasi alam mo 'yun, never ko talaga inasahan eh. Akala ko pupunta lang ako 'yun lang 'yun, akala ko 'yung alis ko e sa San Diego lang 9 days bago ko umuwi. Pero four states?! Pero lahat nang 'yon?! OMG.
To more adventures and breathtaking moments! :)) HIHIHIHI. PLEAAAAAAAAASE.
Pero alam mo, I realized din how important 'yung mga small things para maging possible 'yung mga big things. I think 'yun 'yung need ko talaga ulit matutunan, na kahit anong bagay 'yan e part of the puzzle. Maliit man o malaki. So yeah. for the 6 months na natitira sa 2016. :))) I WILL BE BETTER. <3 I claim that the next months will be more colorful, more prosperous (VERY VERY VERY MUCH NEEDED) and more memorable hindi lang syempre for me but for you as well.
Pero alam mo, I realized din how important 'yung mga small things para maging possible 'yung mga big things. I think 'yun 'yung need ko talaga ulit matutunan, na kahit anong bagay 'yan e part of the puzzle. Maliit man o malaki. So yeah. for the 6 months na natitira sa 2016. :))) I WILL BE BETTER. <3 I claim that the next months will be more colorful, more prosperous (VERY VERY VERY MUCH NEEDED) and more memorable hindi lang syempre for me but for you as well.
GOD BLESS US!
May we be blessed that we can also be a blessing to others. hihi
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