What Is Left After This ❤

By Tin Gallemaso - 4:35:00 PM

That's you.


Uso 'yon dati, diba? 'Yung "Wake Me Up When September Ends" every time na magsisimula 'yung September...... pero parang ngayon, wake me up when this nightmare ends na lang. HAHAHA! Six months into this confusion and instability that is the pandemic, how are you? Thriving? Getting by? I think I'm on the latter. 

Photo above is not mine. Ni-save ko lang sa gallery pero di ko na alam kung saan galing. Sorry huhu pero credits to the owner po. 💗

I mean, despite the realizations that this phase has given me, it's still difficult to navigate into the unknown these days. Upon waking up everyday, I tell myself that this phase is allowing us to rebuild ourselves. Alam mo 'yon, bessy? Us but with a stronger foundation and healthier boundaries, ganern! 😂😂😂 Kaya umayos ako. Wag akong ano. HAHAHA!

* Trying to get things right.
* A life with a braver heart. 


I've sacrificed a lot for that wanderlust life that I led for the past several years - a lot more than what I thought. I let go of relationships, hobbies (that I needed to spend money on), and habits just so I can make things work. Because of this, I realized that I'm capable of achieving something if I really want to. Go-getter naman pala ate mo girl. 😆 Hindi kasi din madali lahat ng lakwatsa ko, naisip ko lang ang dami na nga pala. Travelling was my comfort zone. Weird ba? Definitely walang regrets kasi I grew and ako 'to ngayon dahil sa lahat ng gastos ko dati, ay lahat ng gala pala. HAHAHAHA! 


* Let go of the things that aren't serving me anymore. 





The screenshot above was from a message I got in FB asking about the Fish Port and I was immediately reminded why I've been updating this for the past several years. Ang saya kasi may natutulungan naman kahit papaano. 🤭😊

Seven years later, kaya ko na mag classify ng eight kinds of fishes! Kasama na po tuna, salmon, and eel sa listahan na dating five lang kasi naging sosyal ako ng slight at napadpad ako sa Farmer's Market para mamalengke. HAHA! Kilala ko na rin po ang lobster at snow crab. 😂

Eight years into blogging, I fell inlove with writing again. I've found my voice for the nth time and sorting out thoughts this way keeps me sane. Although a lot of personal posts are written out of frustrations and heightened emotions, marami rin naman 'tong posts na may silbi para sa ibang tao. Marami nga lang din TMI gaya nito siguro pero diba, kung walang magbasa edi wala. Kinakausap ko lang naman sarili ko kapag naga-update ako ng mga ganitong klaseng post. 😂


Mas mahilig talaga ko mag luto. Korean-fusion 'yan na Doenjang (Soybean) Cream Pasta, malayo 'yung lasa sa PH-style carbonara pero nag-work naman. May mga nagtanong kung magkano 'yung pasta pero huhuhuhu bebenta, hindi ibebenta, bebenta, hindi ibebenta (na may pagtanggal ng petals ng flowers 'to ah!🎕 HAHAHA! Epekto ng It's Okay Not To Be Okay)


 Ma-tyaga mag bake 'yung sister ko. We're selling cream puffs and cookies every Sunday. You may contact us/place orders HERE. 


Kita mo 'yung aso sa harap namin, umay na umay na sa'kin. Siya kasi 'yung constant audience sa bahay. Parang bibigay na ko pag hindi naka-choreo 'yung dance steps e kaso naalala kong ia-upload nga pala 'yan kaya controlled dapat. Miss ko na magsayaw ng clubbing levels, ganoin?! Sabi pa nung isang friend ko, gusto niya pa rin 'yung lasing ako para todo bigay. Well, di naman kailangang lasing. Kailangan lang walang video. HAHAHAHA!

Kinda miss those times when I used to perform on stage. Recording a dance and uploading it on FB for other people to watch somehow brought back those memories. This is something that a lot of people don't know about me but I was a member of a theater arts/performing arts group (acting, dancing, spoken poetry, and singing kung gusto nila ng bagyo) and a Korean Cultural Dance Group. Hindi naman 'yung super galing mag perform and all pero masaya kasi. HAHA! Before Philippine Animal Welfare Society, all the Medical Missions, and the travelling, I was a performer during my free times. 
Akalain ko 'yon, I've worn a lot hats na pala. Hindi ko lang masyado pinag-isipan mga bagay-bagay. Sino ba kasi 'tong go ng go.😆


Hello, Tintin 2013!

There was even that one time when we performed Traditional Korean Fan Dance live on PH TV. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Wala kong remembrance of that day kasi sobrang hiyang hiya ako and I don't even wanna search for it pero naalala ko lang bigla. Wala rin akong sinabihan tungkol doon pero may mga nakanood at naka-recognize naman sa'kin. HAHAHAHAHAHA! 


'Yung andito ka lang sa tabi-tabi pero ang daming ganap. Hindi kailangan mag bayad ng travel tax o mag-abang ng piso fare o gumising sa bagong bansa na hindi mo naman alam 'yung salita. Nakakamiss tuloy bigla maramdaman 'yung fulfillment sa mga ganitong simpleng mga bagay. Iniwan ko kasi may gastos at kinailangan ko tanggalin 'yung mga "unnecessary" para makaipon dahil sa mas malaking gastos gawa ng pag lakwatsa. Marunong naman pala mag-prioritize at mag-commit ate mo girl?! HAHAHAHAHA! Ito 'yung the real cost of travelling - mga nasakripisyo kong parte ng pagkatao ko in the pursuit of going places. Pero 'yun nga, walang pagsisisi kasi in the end, hindi naman mapapalitan ng kahit magkano 'yung memories at mga natutunan ko eh. Though, syempre, hindi ko naman itatanggi na may kahalong swerte na na-sustain ko 'yung ganon for quite a long time.

 Nakakatuwa lang balikan dahil ito 'yung ako bago nag wanderlusting, di naman pala nawala... natabunan lang ng bucketlist pero found the way to resurface somehow. Lalo na ngayon na kailangan mong hanapin 'yung sagot sa tanong na, "What makes you happy?" Medyo sad kasi, noh? Kaya 'yung saya, pagta-trabahuhan din. 


WHAT IS LEFT AFTER THIS IS ME VOID OF THE UNNECESSARY.
(Uhm work in progress pa rin po pala haha!)
Bawas lang ng mga hindi importante at mas pahalagahan 'yung mga may silbi. ANO RAW? HAHAHA 

Photo above is not mine. Ni-save ko lang sa gallery pero di ko na alam kung saan galing. Sorry huhu pero credits to the owner po. 💗

I'm hoping and praying that our situation stabilizes as soon as possible so we can restart life/saving up again. For me, I don't think that my lifestyle will be back to how it was - hopefully will still be able to go places but with less frequency. Isa pa, 'yung suggested emergency fund e six months worth as much as possible kaso six months na lumipas pero bakit feeling emergency pa rin? Di ako prepared, bessy! Eng sheket. HAHAHA! Haaaay, life. Bakit ba tayo nagkaganito? Ipon na tayo ulit? Inayos naman natin eh. Na-challenge lang. HAHAHA! 


Pero para sa peace of mind talaga, phase lang 'to na kailangan natin harapin. Uhmm, things will get better. Cling to the hope that's left in us and we will be able to get through this. Sana. Sana umayos na. Five years in the future, babalikan natin 'tong September 2020 na 'to. Sana may nangyari sa breakthrough na 'to na ipagpapasalamat natin by then. Swerte na may oras akong mag reflect ng tungkol sa mga desisyon ko and all kaya huhuhu thankful pa rin, universe. 😌😌




Photo Source: A screen capture from the Twitter account - Anchored Joy.





Old and new fears still find me sometimes but I am also finding flickers of new hope and feeling the embrace of unending grace in my every breath. Wherever this may lead me, I am satisfied of who I am becoming.


It took me a pandemic to realize that even in waiting, unknowns, delays, and dull moments - there's growth. 


Sometimes, growth is in moving. 
But oftentimes, growth just looks like staying still. While taking our time learning to appreciate and accept everything that life is giving us. 


Now that I chose to be here, I'll let things be. 
Continuously praying and hoping
For a life where I am braver -
In this new normal. 🥺🙌💕





If you're a frontliner and stumbled upon this,  
 THANK YOU FOR YOUR HARD WORK.
PLEASE STAY SAFE. 
WE ARE PRAYING FOR YOU. 

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